Many people will be spending the next few days trying to come up with changes that they wish to make to their lives for the New Year. A large proportion of them will be looking back in 3 weeks times at the resolutions they made and subsequently broke and wondering why they didn’t stick to them. Perhaps it’s time to look at how you are making your “New Year’s Resolutions” and the process and mindset you are using to do this.
Most resolutions are framed in the negative – “I’m going to give up smoking” or “I’m not going to eat as much chocolate / sweets” etc. Framing your resolutions this way is promoting negative thinking and negative processes don’t always sit well with us. How hard is it to give up something you feel you enjoy? Is this not a form of punishment? Why would you want to start a new year in this way? This negative way of looking at things can promote a negative self image and have you starting the New Year by thinking that you are doing something wrong.
Looking at our thought processes and the way we word things can have a much greater effect than you think. Being positive is much better for your mental health and can allow those changes you wish to make in your life come easier to you. In counselling we call this the mysterious art of Goal Setting. So instead of setting New Year Resolutions – set some New Year Goals! And if you’re going to set some goals, why not make them SMART goals.
Very briefly, your goals should be:
Specific – A goal needs to be very specific. Saying “I am going to get fit in 2011” is a bit too general. Make the goal more specific like I am going to walk for half an hour three days a week, or I am going to cycle to work instead of driving or I’m going to join the local tennis club. Something very specific that you can aim at.
Measureable – Your goals must be measurable so that you can check your progress as you go. Setting a goal of earning a higher salary in 2011 than you did in 2010, is not really measureable until you get to the year end, however, setting a specific target and having benchmarks within that target is measurable, so that you can check your progress each month etc.
Attainable – This is vital. If the goals you set are too far out of your reach then you will not try to achieve them. You will start out with the best of intentions, but your subconscious mind will keep reminding you of the fact that this is too much for you and this can lead to procrastination and avoidance.
Realistic – This does not mean easy! In this case it means do-able. Setting a goal of giving up all sweets / chocolate etc may not be realistic for someone who really enjoys these foods, but a goal of replacing your mid morning chocolate bar with a piece of fruit is. Make sure that your goals are realistic and that they are attainable (with a little effort). Setting the bar too high can set you up for failure and too low can send the message that you don’t believe yourself very capable. Set your goal to a level that will give you a sense of achievement and satisfaction when you reach it.
Timely – Set a time frame – or a series of them depending on the goal. For example you could replace the mid morning chocolate with a piece of fruit every day by the end of January, and then you could change the fizzy, sugary soft drinks with water or fruit juice by February 28th and so on, until you reach your goal of replacing the vast majority of your unhealthy foods with healthy ones by a set time.
If you don’t set a timeframe then the commitment is too vague. The goal can drift away because you can start anytime. Without setting a time scale there’s no urgency to start taking action now. Your timeframe must be measureable, attainable and realistic.
SMART goals are the ones that you can reach and surpass. No point in setting your sights on the stars when you don’t know how to get off the floor. So take the time to look at the changes you want to make in your life, and set yourself some goals for 2011. If you have a close friend, share them with him / her and then you have someone to support you in reaching for them.
Enjoy the New Year and good luck with your goals for 2011.