Low Self-Esteem / Low Self Confidence

People with low self-esteem or low self confidence do not see themselves clearly. They often magnify their defects and minimize their assets. The end result of this kind of thinking is a strong sense of feeling inadequate. Low self-confidence or low self esteem can lead to depression, suicidal thoughts, addiction, weight loss, anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, anger , not wanting to go to work / school and a lack of interest in socialising.

The causes of low self-esteem and low self-confidence are many and varied and can be ignited in the individual by such things as frivolous comments made by someone we love and care about such as family, school friends or work colleagues. Incidents such as being bullied or abused, reading in class, having to make a speech or a presentation , asking a girl/boy out, the break up of a relationship, a bereavement in the family or a close friend, impending exams, work stresses, new college, new job / career, missing a vital free penalty in sport can all be traumatising and open up new thoughts like “I'm no good”, “I always mess things up” or “nothing ever goes right for me”.

Counselling and Psychotherapy is the best process to regain confidence and recover your self esteem. Counselling offers a safe, confidential, supportive and non-judgmental place to talk and be heard. It also offers a deeper insight into self esteem and self worth. Teaching new ways of processing feelings and thoughts and offering better choices - leading to new behaviours. Remember we were not born with the above issues but have collected them along life's journey. Counselling offers us the chance to revisit the places where we may have collected these thoughts and behaviours. By revisiting we can readdress them in a more positive way emerging as new individuals with greater self value and self worth and richer for the experience.Call me for an appointment on (087) 320 6842.

Reasons to be cheerful – 1

So 2011 is here! I think most of us will wish a rather cheery goodbye to 2010 and try and look forward to this New Year with hope and belief that it can’t be any worse than the last couple of years.  But maybe there’s another way of looking at it than hoping and wishing that things will get better. I was thinking of my late mother today and one of her many words of wisdom came to mind, “when you’re feeling down – take a minute to count your blessings”.  I think we have all heard this from our parents or grandparents at some point.

So that gave me pause for thought. What are the blessings in my life?  In how many ways am I blessed?  Although life has become a bit of a struggle for all of us in recent years, when I look at the real joy in my life, could it be replaced or made better if there was a sudden upsurge in the economy?  If I had done some things differently, would those blessings be any better? 

The answer to these questions, in my case is generally – No!  Last night I was hugged by my eight year old son and as he lay beside me wishing me a happy new year, he said “I love you Dad”.  No amount of money or status can replace that feeling. So if, as I believe, all of my life has served to lead me to this point, then it has been a success.  The unconditional love of my son, his belief in me as a father and the pure joy I get from hearing him say those words could not have been made any better by anything.

The great Swiss psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said “There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.”  Maybe it’s time to sit back and take stock of what is good in our lives instead of worrying about what’s wrong or not so good?  Each day is a fresh start and a time to re-evaluate our position in the world and whether that’s good or not-so-great, is there anything I can do to change it?

I hope you all have a happy and joy filled 2011.  Our blessings are there, all around us in every moment of every day, we just have to open our eyes and see them.  As Jonathan Swift supposedly said “May you live all the days of your life.”